Grit: Discovering Our Mental Toughness

While ascending the never-ending sequence of climbs in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains last month, I wasn’t thinking about grit. I was purely determined to pedal my way to the crest of each hill and be that much closer to my destination: the next college on our itinerary. Cycling with six college guidance counselor colleagues in Virginia, I spent the week traveling from school to school on a bike fully loaded with the clothes and supplies I would need for the week. We college-bound road warriors biked 360 miles in six days, but one day in particular truly tested our stamina as we cycled 81 miles and climbed nearly 7,000 feet.  I will not lie. When we arrived at our Lynchburg College destination just before sunset, I was done, sure I would not have been able to complete one more rotation of my pedals if my life depended on it. In retrospect, I see that grit got me there. It allowed me to keep going, even when I was exhausted, parched and had no idea what ascents might lie ahead.

Merriam-Webster defines grit as mental toughness and courage, but I also like the Wikipedia definition: perseverance and passion for long-term goals.  Time horizon matters, as grit demands the drive to follow through even when the rewards are not easily within our sight or grasp.

As we begin another application season, I often ask students about their motivation. I want to know the things that excite them, their aspirations and goals, and how they hope to achieve them.  Where does college fit into these plans? Though I firmly believe that 17 year olds need not have everything figured out, I am curious about what inspires them to persevere, even when the path isn’t clear or the challenges seem insurmountable.  How and when are they mentally tough because they are driven by something that requires focus and effort, even when rewards don’t come easy, contrary to the short-term pleasure of immediate gratification?

While some people are naturally driven, I don’t believe one is necessarily born with grit. It develops over time as we find a purpose or an interest that engages us to persevere over the long-term.  Some kids find their passion early, whether it is discovering an artistic talent, a natural athletic ability or an academic curiosity.  But having an interest is only the start.  What keeps us going, drives us to delve more deeply and fuels our desire to set and work towards a challenging goal is an understanding for how grit feeds our soul. Rarely does this happen when the goal is within our grasp and comes too easily.  More often we develop grit and find our motivation when we take a risk, push ourselves, occasionally fall short but regain our mental and physical toughness to overcome the inevitable obstacles.  Only then can we see the true rewards from the toughness, courage and perseverance that got us there.  

Though I have enjoyed cycling on and off since the age of six, my infatuation with biking was kindled through a discovery of my love for colleges. It had been 30 years since I last owned a road bike, but I was determined to reacquaint myself with the sport and get myself into cycling shape to join and keep up with a group of counselor cyclists who found a way to combine these seemingly unrelated interests.  What I discovered on that hot July day somewhere around mile 70 when I was thirsty, weary and battling possible defeat at the sight of each new hill is that it wasn’t just about getting to the next college; it was about getting to the top of the mountain without giving up.   

What Football has Taught Me about College Admissions

When I want to expand my knowledge of football, I don’t typically turn to college admissions.  Yet Peter Johnson, Director of Undergraduate Admission at Columbia University, recently introduced me to the term YAC, though Super Bowl Sunday was not the topic of conversation.  Johnson was addressing a group of professional members of the Independent Educational Consultants Association (IECA) at an industry retreat. Responding to a question about the importance one’s high school plays in the college admission process, Mr. Johnson used yards after catch as a metaphor to form the perfect imagery.  His point: Columbia doesn’t admit schools; it admits students.  Where a student goes to school is the pass; where the student takes that opportunity is what counts. 

Think about that for a moment. Johnson just explained how competitive colleges not only seek to level the playing field, but also identify the MVPs.  Test scores and grades may put students in the conversation, but it’s their independent intellectual curiosity that propels them towards the end zone. 

Though fewer than 7% of applicants will likely be admitted to Columbia this year, Director Johnson’s message is useful advice for anyone seeking admission to a highly selective college or university.  It is no longer simply about having top grades, perfect test scores and a plethora of extra-curricular activities.  The student who catches the attention of an admission officer fills a niche and demonstrates a deep commitment to and measurable success in something that sets him or her apart.  It can be national or regional recognition for science research, development and mastery of a talent, or demonstration of a relentless curiosity through an academic pursuit. Elite colleges are interested in students who have been carving their niche over time and through their own persistence.  And as President Obama seeks to include college accessibility for more low income and first generation students as part of his legacy, colleges will search out the students who have excelled in the absence of certain privileges and advantages. Expect the trend towards measuring the yards after catch to become even more entrenched in the competitive college admission process.  

I am sharing Director Johnson’s candid message with you not to discourage, but to add a bit more transparency to the admission process at the most selective colleges.  His insights also dovetail well with the ideas expressed by journalist and author David Brooks in his February 4^th New York Times Op-Ed article: What Machines Can’t Do.  Though the subject of his piece is not what selective colleges look for, Brooks emphasizes that these same qualities are valued in life as well as in college admissions.  The era of technology no longer rewards skills that machines can replicate, i.e., mental functions that rely on facts, rules and the information we are given.  Instead, our new age society will continue to find more value in and reward those who are motivated by pure enthusiasm and who possess “a voracious explanatory drive, an almost obsessive need to follow their curiosity.” Elite colleges look to build a class of niche players who possess this same independent intellectual curiosity to run the distance with the ball.

While Peter Johnson’s talk was specific to Columbia admissions, I think it is safe to say that the top tier colleges in terms of selectivity (not to be confused with quality) all employ their own version of YAC in how they admit students.  Coming to terms with what these colleges want to see is not a cause for despair; it might just be a reason to broaden the focus.  There are many fine colleges and universities that realize students don’t necessarily develop their interests at the same pace.  Instead these colleges hope to provide the opportunities and stimulation to facilitate that discovery.   Sometimes that means we must reassess our own goals. Today’s world and the one our children will encounter in the future will value, as David Brooks noted, enthusiasm that drives their intellectual curiosity.  Now is the time to encourage our kids to not only catch the ball, but also find the college or university that will excite their desire to run with it.

Hobbies are not just for College Applications

When it comes time to fill out college applications many students panic at the thought of having to list their extra-curricular activities. They question whether they have enough activities, the “right” ones, and if their list will persuade the admission staff of their commitment to these pursuits. “If I don’t have a passion, will colleges even consider me?” is the unproductive thought that plays repeatedly in many students’ heads. Sometimes I wonder if the pressure to pursue “extra-curricular activities” actually discourages less confident or rebellious students from getting involved. The shame of it is that engaging in activities often becomes more about impressing college admissions than finding pleasure and meaning in one’s non-academic pursuits. The focus on figuring out what colleges want to see is misguided; the more important question is: are you developing and exploring interests and hobbies that provide personal satisfaction and which will continue to enrich your life, even beyond college?

We engage in hobbies for a variety of reasons, but largely for personal fulfillment and to give purpose to our lives. It’s about choice, not obligation. Whether social or solitary, active or sedentary, philanthropic or artistic, the things we do that are individually meaningful can trigger the release of pleasure-inducing dopamine or lead us to form new social groups with people who share our interests. But one of the best things about hobbies is that it is never too late to discover new ones. Take it from me; last year I more or less traded in my running sneakers for cycling shoes. I signed up for a college counselor bike tour in southern California because it seemed like a great way to visit colleges, share the experience with colleagues and get some heart-pumping outdoor exercise. What I had not anticipated is that I would become hooked on cycling.

This summer once again I am participating in the college counselor bike tour. Our destination is to the south: North Carolina colleges and universities. Last year at this time I was marking off the days to the trip, filled with a mix of excitement and trepidation. New to cycling, I had concerns about keeping the pace, conquering hills, carrying my own gear and releasing my toe clips with sufficient time before a stop to avoid falling. I had premonitions of an embarrassing Arte Johnson moment, toppling over on my bike in a klutzy move reminiscent of the Laugh-In tricycle routine…a self-fulfilling prophesy.

With just 12 days until this year’s trip (and counting), I have no anxiety and feel only the excitement. I have already experienced the adrenaline rush that for me comes with the joy of cycling and sharing the ride with other adventurous counselors. Hobbies can also motivate us to challenge ourselves and improve our skills. I am a stronger rider today and therefore, more confident. I am happy to report that I no longer get stuck in my toe clips.

Many of my friends from last summer have also decided to participate again this year, anticipating another action packed week of great cycling, plenty of laughs and lots of support. The cycling trip takes us to Duke, NC State, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Elon, Guilford, High Point, Wake Forest, Catawba, Davidson and Queens College. We carry our own clothes and gear, and stay in dorms; it will be as close as possible to a true college experience. I actually visited many of these colleges as recently as two years ago, traveling by bus with a group of independent educational consultants. Even so, it never occurred to me to pass up this bike trip. The cycling, the camaraderie, the exercise, and yes, the professional benefits inspire me. I always gain something new from subsequent campus visits, whether it’s a different perspective or the reinforcement of something I had previously learned. This time around my vantage point will be different; after all, I will arrive on each campus by the power of my well-trained legs, my bike and my determination.

There is no one path to uncovering our passions and interests. I first happened upon the counselor bike tour and took up cycling after reading a posting on a college related listserv. One’s interests are sparked through exposure, receptiveness to new things, a suggestion from a friend, but most importantly, through self knowledge and an understanding for what makes us happy. When the interest is genuine, the commitment and endorphins will follow. That’s what will get a college’s attention.